There are dos and don’ts of surviving a breakup with any sort of dignity and grace. As a girl not exactly known for having a stiff upper lip or any ability whatsoever to hide my emotions, it’s good to write these down. I hope I never have to go through anything like this again, but if I do, this will be a good reminder of how to handle my heart.
1. Rally the troops. Get your friends and family around you as soon as possible. You do not have to talk about every single detail. In fact, this may come back to haunt you. Instead, allow yourself to be as vulnerable as necessary. Yesterday I sat with my head in a friend’s lap for an hour while she listened to me sob. It helped.
2. Take the high road as far as you can. Once I love someone, it seems no matter what I always will. It’s okay to tell him this in lieu of yet again reviewing the wrong-doings.
3. Reach out and thank those who are helping you get through this. Fabulous break-up stationery makes it a bit easier.
4. Remember it is okay to be angry and disappointed. There doesn’t have to be a silver lining to everything. You don’t have to accept the platitudes.
5. Pray. Visit churches, take yoga, go for long walks — do whatever you need to do to reconnect with your extraordinary faith.
6. When all else fails, shop. You won’t be happy with the credit bill later, but your new purse today feels damn good.
1. Don’t cry into your Blackberry. Water + electronics = disaster and a new big purchase.
2. Don’t lash out and act like a child. You’ll very quickly regret behaving poorly, calling names, sharing intimate details others did not need to know. Remember leaving with your dignity is more important than leaving feeling “right.”
3. Don’t be afraid to sincerely apologize if you do lash out and say hateful things.
4. Don’t forget to eat. Things go down hill quickly if you do and well-reasoned thought, sleep and sanity are the next to fall away.
5. Don’t be angry with tough love. When friends want to shake you by the shoulders, they mean well. Don’t let their words sting. They have the right intention.
6. Don’t beat yourself up. Shitty things happen to good people every single day. There is no point in trying to understand why this happened; but it did and while it sucks today, it will suck a little less tomorrow.