Dear Santa

December 9th

Dear Santa,

Hi there! How’s it going up on the North Pole? Are you busting out the swimming suit yet with your glaciers melting? I am really sorry about that. I’ve cut back on my oil consumption dramatically this year and promise to be living as green as possible. Also, I voted out that moron whose policies have only made our environment that much worse. I am sorry, truly. I hope your vista doesn’t include views of oil rigs, thugs beating baby seals or polar bears floating alone on dismal icebergs.

Wow. I really just bummed you out, didn’t I? Let’s get back to the holiday spirit — shall we? What would you like me to bake for you this year? I was thinking ginger snaps. They are a family favorite. Or maybe you’d like some of that Portuguese Sweet Bread I’ve recently mastered? I’m giving loaves of this out as holiday gifts. (Don’t tell anyone.) I’ll be sure to leave carrots out for the reindeer. Too bad my little garden isn’t quite ready to produce the necessary produce. Next year. Maybe I’ll even can a few for you to take back to the Mrs.

So, Santa, let me cut to the chase. The economy is rather cranky and my family has decided in lieu of junk we really don’t need, we are going to keep our holiday gifts to a meager $25 and put anything additional toward charity. I’ve got my mom, dad and brother covered easily. My little extra is going toward UMOM in Phoenix and to help keep food banks going in Arizona and Texas.

I do have a few wishes — most of which fall under the $25 limit. If you can squeeze these into the sleigh, I’d appreciate it. I promise I’ve been mostly good, if you over look my republican bashing and complete and total jealousy of Jolie-Pitt clan. I’d love a family that diverse, and who are we kidding — even with the goofy mustache Mr. Pitt is dreamy. (Although I’m seriously starting to think he and Clooney have a bet going for who can wear a mustache longer. Fellas, neither of you are winning. I promise.)

Other than a slice of Brad and world peace, here’s what I’d like:

– Uniball Vision Needle Micro pens. Several, not necessarily a full box.

Envelopes. I always seem to run out of pretty envelopes. I need a variety of sizes too. You know how much I love to send letters.

– Books. I’d love a copy of Seams to Me (Santa heard me! Thank you Flo!) and certainly some Bittman to spice up the kitchen. There are about three dozen others too, if you have the room. I nearly doubled my goal this year of reading 40 books, so I promise they won’t go to waste. I also promise to pass them on when I’m done.

– Chairs. I don’t have enough for community dinners. People have to rotate and sit on the floor and while it definitely keeps things humble and homey, it also leaves me embarrassed. Nothing fancy, but two or three more of these to match the one I have would be really great.

New plates. I know, simple white. But I read in one of my cooking magazines how food appears more enticing on white plates and I think there is something to that.

– And if you decide to go crazy, these shoes have been calling my name. I think I may actually buy a pair pre-holidays, so maybe you should save your elves to work on this instead. Also, you really can’t go wrong with Athleta. One day, when I’m a published author and all my charities are well-funded and my entire family is out of debt and happily doing well, my closet will be filled with these beautiful clothes.

Thanks again Santa for all of your goodwill. If you want to ditch all of my materialistic desires for extra space for others, I’m okay with that too. Just make it food for Zimbabwe, jackets for kids in North Korea or a burkha for Paris Hilton. Thanks Big Guy!


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22 Responses

  1. I love this!

  2. Books and Brad Pitt? What else a girl can whish for?

  3. Love it! And I wish a lot of food for simbabwe too (have lived there for some months, 17 years ago)!

  4. Oooh! Danskos and Athleta. Two of my faves.

    My family is doing the same as yours. I was going to donate to Feeding America (used to be America’s Second Harvest) but I wonder if I should go local instead?

    Anyway, great list!

  5. Hey Kelli,

    Since I stumbled upon the world of blogging approx a year ago, you have been a crafting inspiration! I am slowly, but surely, expanding the variety and type of projects I attempt.. and am challenging myself in a way that brings me much happiness.

    During my 9-5 (in a job I’m not sure is right for me) — your blog is one of a few that gives me a great mid-day retreat.

    I just wanted to comment on one small point you made in today’s blog. About the “thugs beating baby seals”. I live in Newfoundlanld and Labrador — a province in which some people that live in small, northern coastal communities often supplment their seasonal incomes (usually from fish harvesting) with the seal fishery in winter months. I myself am a big advocate of animal rights and take the time to be an informed consumer of meat-products, etc — however organizations (such as PETA) have done an absolutely amazing job of using the seal fishery as a marketing and campaigning tool. It’s quite understandable that images of white baby seals on ice flows helps them “rake in the cash”, but in reality – the killing of white coat seals has been banned since at least the early 90’s (with tough penalties and court dates for anyone suspected of doing so).

    I understand the misconceptions surrounding the seal fishery. I admit the images of blood on the ice are not the most reassuring — however I think it would be safe to say that some of the same people who critisize the killing of seals are meat-eaters who have no idea how a pork chop got onto their dinner plate. I can assure you that on an island with as unique a culture and history as we can, seal meat does not go to waste (

    Anyways — enough ranting! haha I am in no way critisizing you. I am critisizing the ‘PETA’s of the world’ that continue to mis-inform their donors and the general public in an attempt to increase their annual cash flow.

    Hope you find this interesting. Hoping I don’t too much of a backlash for this! (although, I am open to discussing this further).

    Thank you for considering!

    P.S. I agree — the Jolie-Pitt clan do set an example. Enjoyed browsing your book wish list — it gave me a few ideas for early-2009 reads!

  6. Great letter Kelli, love your simple list too.

  7. Love you list! Wish I could be Santa and send it all your way.

  8. I have a pair of Danskos. Totally worth it! I loooove them.
    I have no doubt that Santa will be very good to you this year.

  9. Okay, couple thoughts.. One is the whole ‘stache thing where Mr. Clooney and Mr. Pitt are concerned. What is THAT whole thing about? If it’s a movie? I’m not looking forward to it.. It just makes George look older than he is.. Not pretty.

    As for the white plates.. you should find some restaurant supply stores in Phoenix because they always have great deals on stuff like that. I got some large off-white plates here for like.. a few dollars. Granted- this particular style was being discontinued so they were even less than normal, but thats the point. You never know when you’ll find a steal like that. These are large sturdy plates and I love that I can use them for anything! I also found great deals on pretty serving things.

  10. I hope you get everything on your list! I like the watch, and who doesn’t love getting great books for Christmas?

    I can’t wait to see all the finished Christmas crafts you created.

  11. I just bought those very Dansko shoes 2 weeks ago. I had major sticker shock, almost bought a cheaper option, and then Frank convinced me to buy them. I have not regretted it one minute. Seriously the best shoes I have ever had. The best part? Dansko is an eco friendly and ethical company.

  12. You crack me up. Merry Christmas girl, and hoping those wishes of a greener world and better one for all those that need it most, come true.

  13. Danskos are the best. I have two pair – black and brown, and if I’m not wearing boots, I’m wearing Danskos. They last for years. A great investment: and I got one pair as a hand-me-down and another pair at the thrift store. Awesome.
    I’ll have to post a picture of Aidin’s chrismtas letter to santa – an american girl bag to carry her dolls, ballroom dance shoes and toys that she can donate to other children. that’s my girl.
    Merry merry, my dear!

  14. Hi Kelli!!
    You are one in a million! This was adorable and kind of you to write! I hope you get everything you want!

  15. Cute letter and good list. I like what your family is doing this year. (Btw, I want plain white dishes too–but they can wait. I have plenty of plates right now. I’m not too into Mr. Pitt. In fact, I admit I was fond of his ex. Oh well. And, remember “R’s” can be environmentalists too!!!! hehee)

  16. You are just too cute. I love your Santa list and if I hadn’t just sent a package to my daughter in Bangkok, she might have gotten one or two of your gifts. Since she didn’t … mayber Santa will have room in his bag for you.

    Blessings of the season

  17. Great list. I think I’m going to have to check out those pens.

  18. Tina in Duluth December 10, 2008

    Those shoes should certainly kick you baking up a notch! They are just like the ones we wore at Great Harvest.

  19. Great letter to Santa, there’s some awesome ideas in there.

  20. Santa just fwd’d your email on to me (he’s very high tech these days) and he wants me to ask if you like blue or black ink?

  21. You sweet girl! I hope you get everything on your list!!!

  22. I hope you get it all!!