Mismatched

April 27th

I once dated a very conservative republican boy who laughed at my hippie ways. We were oddly matched, indeed, but there is something to that “opposites attract” thing. We spent several months bantering, including a time or two when he would turn beet red in frustration because I wouldn’t sip the party line Kool Aid. At the time I was living with three of my closest friends, and this boy — with the most beautiful blue eyes — embarrassed the tar out of me one evening by announcing in front of everyone that he, in fact, “didn’t like trees.”
Only a moron doesn’t like trees.
To change his mind (and fully mock him), I bought him a membership to the National Arbor Day Foundation for Christmas. By the time his tiny trees and membership packet arrived in the mail, we’d broken up.
I planted those little trees with love, and then slapped an “I love Trees!” bumper sticker on my car to seal the deal. Seriously.
I’ve never said I had good taste in men. But trees? They are easy to love.

Happy Arbor Day!

~K

Posted in
Flora and Fauna, Journal
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23 Responses

  1. Great story!!

  2. i second that. that’s awesome.
    how can someone not like trees?!?!

  3. That’s a great story!

  4. Shouldn’t waste your time on incompatible guys. When I met my sweetie I took him camping in Algonquin Park (northern Ontario). I figured if he could survive 4 days in the wild, he was my kind of guy. We don’t always agree on everything and we are still opposites, but he passed the test. Think up something that suits you…ciao:)

  5. i am dying with laughter over here! this is the best arbor day story ever!!! and i am ready to commission you to embroider a pair of mr. chimps pjs for me. that monkey is FABULOUS!!!! happy weekend!

  6. That is the best break up story I ever read!

  7. Best loss in your life, I swear it!

  8. The most important thing about guys is that the last one you date (the one you end up with) is the best. All the losers you date before “the one” make up good life experience and great storytelling opportunities just like you have done here. Too bad for Tree Boy that missed his chance with you. Definitely his loss.

  9. Hehe, funny!!
    Happy Arbor Day to you too 🙂

  10. Way too funny! I love how you slapped an “I love trees” bumper sticker on your car to seal the deal! Great story!

  11. Love this story. I want that bumper sticker 🙂
    Thanks for your thoughts and memories on trees on my blog – I would love to hear more about your tree planting days in Africa… maybe we can do lunch one day? Now to figure out if you come here or I go there… 🙂

  12. I thought that ‘conservative Republican’ was redundant, but as I’m a liberal Republican, I guess not. As for liking trees — well, I do. We’ve planted two trees — three, counting the one that the hurricane sucked right out of the ground and laid on its side, how nice — as well as bushes, and shrubs. And lets not forget the weeds!

  13. He didn’t like TREES? Yikes. Trees are awesome! Happy Arbor Day, indeed.

  14. I love that story. Who doesn’t love trees? We need them to breathe, what a dummy! hee hee. I think I need to plant one now!

  15. What kind of freak doesn’t like trees? My boyfriend has stated, more than once, that trees are one of his favorite things in the world. Guess I chose the right one.

  16. fabulous kelli! great story. and your right, who doesn’t love trees?

  17. so funny… i am still trying to figure out how anyone could not like trees 🙂

  18. Now that’s a great story 🙂

  19. Rebecca April 30, 2007

    Ah ha – these are people who don’t know conservative man. Him saying he didn’t like trees didn’t surprise me in the least. I never saw him without a pleat ironed in the right place. Dirt just didn’t become him. Not someone I would keep around if I knew he would be bothered with a little dirt here and there. Nothing says home like a floor covered kitchen. And – I don’t think he really liked me. I think I was a bad influence on your liberal ways. What with me adding roommate #5 by shacking up with the boy I picked up at a bar. . . . 😉

  20. That story is simply epic.

  21. Let me guess: the guy who went to Mines?

  22. urg. couldn’t date, or marry, someone who didn’t like trees. what a great story! you’re full of them. please please don’t ever stop sharing them!

  23. how can someone not like trees!?! Holy Moley Cow – what a freak (but what a fun story)!!!

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