My Luck

I’ve been batting my eyelashes at a cute new boy for the last couple of weeks. Of course Tall, Dark and Handsome (TDH) is going back to Africa this week — to work on a malaria project, no less. (See? Totally swoon-worthy.) Last night we decided to meet up for a drink before both going our own ways to Phoenix Open/Super Bowl Sunday pre-parties. I was feeling great. I wore my favorite red top, earrings from Bali, skinny jeans and was feeling on top of my game. As I strutted down Mill Avenue in Tempe, I could help but gawk at the masses of people.
There are gobs of folks in Phoenix this weekend for all the athletic nonsense. Plus, Mill runs along Arizona State University’s edge, so there are always gaggles of interesting people, meandering. The people-watching is fabulous.
Picture me, walking through all of this, killing time and waiting for TDH to show when I feel a giant raindrop fall from the sky and land on my chest. I’m standing in front of a busy Quiznos, where a group of people are sitting at the bar looking out the window while they eat their meal. I look up at the sky, realize there aren’t any clouds and then think, “Huh. That’s weird, I could have sworn I felt rain.”
Then I look down and I see it.
A giant bird took a giant poop on my head. I had bird poop in my hair, on my chest, on my shirt, and even a dabble on my pants and the jacket I was carrying. I look around in terror to see who’s seen this horror develop when I notice everyone at the restaurant with their mouths agape. Without another choice, I crack up. Hysterical laughter pours out of me and I double over at my luck. I am meeting TDH in a few minutes and have spent the last hour getting ready for the night and yet in this instant, I’ve got bird poop from head to toe and a belly full of humble pie. So much for my “top of my game” strutting. Once I start laughing, the crowd inside does too. I find my way to a bathroom, clean myself up and manage to come out and bow to a small applause before hurrying down Mill the other direction to flee the scene. I nearly tell a couple women on the street to guard their decollatage. There are some sneaky fiber-loving birds ahead.
Now I hear I should have made a wish — that being pooped on by a bird is good luck in some cultures. I wish that TDH have a safe journey, and that my life is always this silly.

36 Replies to “My Luck”

  1. oh man! Glad you were able to laugh about it.
    I’d never heard that it is good luck in some places- my husband and I met working on a bird research station where we were pooped on day in and day out. I put five summers in there, I must have a lot of good luck stored up!

  2. The Chinese are one culture who believe that having bird a bird poop on your head is good luck. So good for you! I bet the date went really well. 🙂

  3. Nice Red Top: $50.00
    Bali Earrings: $1,000(includes price of trip)
    Bird Poop all down your front before
    a “date”: Priceless

    We want to know about this date and see a pictures:)

  4. Hey, so yeah, I kid you not: I had a bird crap on my sweater on New Years Eve on that end of Mill. But instead of realizing it, I walked around for a good hour before I saw it.

  5. OH my goodness!!! Kudos to you in seeing the humor in the situation and not letting it ruin your night. I’m on the edge of my seat too…what happened with TDH?

  6. oh Kelli! That is too much! But just so you know, John got pooped on, on our very first date. He looked at me calmly, asked me if there was poop (me laughing hysterically at him, mind you), and walked to the bathroom to wash it out and resume our date. And here we are 7 years later! It just might be good luck 😉

  7. Kelli, being able to laugh about getting pooped on has GOT to endear you to TDH! A lot of women would let that ruin their whole night and be all prissy about it, but not you! Good for you!

    Incidentally, the day of one of my first dates I was at work and my jeans ripped! RIGHT THERE IN THE BEHIND….ripped right out! Thank goodness I had a long shirt on (it was casual Friday) so I was covered. But my date was with A CO-WORKER!!! (Breaking my own rule of not ever dating a co-worker.)

    So he had to take me home before the date could start so I could change out of my ripped jeans into some other pants.

    I married that man 9 months later…and 9 years later — still bliss.

    Here’s hoping if Date #1 for you was fun that you have a #2 when he returns.


  8. Oh, Kelli, you totally should have known about the custom of making a wish in such a case before you were blessed with that massive poop. No chance your wish wouldn’t be granted… fabulous… made me smile a lot.

  9. Here too, a bird poop is a lucky sign (I try very hard, but I can’t see any lucky in it!).
    You didn’t tell anything about the rest of the evening thou, how was your date? (no close details, only the major facts……)

  10. Oh honey – this just made me smile. Not at your “misfortune” but once again at your fabulous response to the curveballs life chucks at you…

    DTH sounds totally swoon-worthy. If he’s a lucky man, you’ll still be available when he returns…

  11. You have such a great, positive outlook! Another reason why I enjoy reading your blog. Have a great day!

  12. What a great story!! I love your reaction. If you were mortified there wouldn’t be a story – but by approaching it with humor you were able to share it and make us smile. Thanks Kelli 🙂

  13. I liked the story better in person yesterday becuase seriously watching the horror in your face as you explain the poop cracks me up. I’m still chuckling at my desk as we read.

  14. I am laughing with you, and am so proud of you for laughing at yourself (I mean, seriously! What else could you do!?) and for taking a bow during the applause. I could picture it all happening, right down to your walk out of the bathroom into the crowd again. I am glad you had a nice time with TDH even though he’s in Africa already!

  15. Wonderful! The fact that you shared with him your amusing story gives him a smiley memory to remember you by! 😉 Plus any batting of eyelashes is good practice right? I had a batting of eyelashes moment with a grocery store guy who was trying to carry too many things in his arms (this is me lots of times) and dropped his dozen eggs SPLAT just as we arrived at the registers. Ooohh but I laughed, caught his eye and said “I was hoping it wasn’t the eggs.” “It was the eggs” he said with a rueful smile. It only made him more adorable that he could joke with me and I helped him clean it up.
    Wonderful story my friend. I’m going to e-mail you soon – need your thoughts on an international medical mission trip I’m headed on in April. 🙂

  16. I don’t know that I could have laughed at myself. You handed it very gracefully! Hope the night with TDH went well.

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