They Turn into A Carriage at Midnight

August 19th

Pumpkins!

The pumpkins are growing at amazing speed, in part because I keep forgetting to turn the water off and they’ve received gobs of liquid love during the last month.

Pumpkins!

Even those little African seeds have taken off; I swear there are days I come home from work to find a new leaf has grown. Amazing! I can’t wait to see what happens to these in the next two months.

Pumpkins!

Pumpkins!

I know this may not look like much, but to me it means the world. I am finding myself in a strange area of transition. Like many, my job security is questionable. Add that to a spreading case of wanderlust and I am once again considering serious change.  Not just the little change, like canceling my gym membership after 15 years at the same place, or dramatically altering my spending habits thanks to a good kick in the pants from my financial advisor.

The life I’d been dreaming of and planning for doesn’t seem to make sense now. Instead, there are suddenly new opportunities to consider and I’m not sure what to do. I know leaving my tight web of friends in Phoenix for the lure of cooler weather won’t make me happier long-term. And yet, I crave a new start. I want to be near my family. I want four seasons. I want to live in a place where I feel like one of the gang and not a fish out of cultural waters.

silver leaves?

matty watering away

matt's babies grow

zucchini leaves

And so, I go out into the garden and daydream, mulling over the choices ahead. These little plants serve as a great daily reminder to thank God for what I do have, right here, right now, within my grasp.

~K

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21 Responses

  1. Change (and even the idea of change) is both intoxicating and terrifying. I wish you peace on your journey of discovery and dreaming.

    (Gosh that sounds serious…what I mean is, I’m rooting for you!)

  2. thanks for your thoughts. I go through the same thing from time to time, and I think you are right…focusing on what I do have and am thankful for really helps to keep things in perspective.

  3. I am in awe of how grounded you are for your age. I am forty-five, have finished raising my family and am still working on simplifying, seeing the beauty around me and just plain figuring it all out. No doubt, you have a very bright future ahead of you. Best wishes to you as you comtemplate transition in your life. Your blog brings me much joy. Thank you for sharing with us.

  4. Hello pretty pumpkins! The garden is looking great. Best of luck to you as you continue to contemplate some very big changes in your life. (Springfield has 4 seasons and very low unemployment, just in case you were wondering!) =)

  5. First of all, your garden truly does look wonderful! I LOVE when new plants sprout up and they are such a brilliant shade of green, God’s Green is what I call it.

    Secondly, I absolutely can relate to your urging of a new start. I say go for it! You only live once, and it’s not for long. So, make your plans and make it happen!! It doesn’t have to be permanent.

    good luck in your decision making.

  6. It’s so nice to know that there is someone else out there that is going through the same thing I am right now. I too am feeling a pull for greener pastures, but can’t help wondering if at the same time I’m being too impatient and that maybe they aren’t so green after all. I think you’re right, that in the mean time, while trying to answer life’s bigger questions; we take time to enjoy the present a little. Go have a glass of wine and hang out with your little green friends! It will cheer you up; it does me! 🙂

  7. I am totally going through the same thing! I hate change, it absolutely terrifies me. I’ll stay in a bad situation that I’m familiar with, rather than possibly and make my situation better something unknown. Basically, I’m chicken. :p

    My job is in serious trouble, and I’m seriously thinking about packing up and getting out of dodge, in this case, So Cal. I’d love to move somewhere GREEN! Somewhere, like you say, with seasons, and rain, maybe even snow! Unfortunately, my industry is rather limited, so if I moved where I wanted to, both my husband and I would be jumping into a whole new job market, all new people, a new state. I don’t think I’ll ever have the guts to do it, but I can dream, right?

  8. Oh! Big changes! Thoughts and prayers are with you!

  9. Awww, take heart! We’ve moved 12 times in 12 years. But you know…I don’t regret a single one of them. I’ve enjoyed experiencing something new and exciting. We moved a few years back to western NC and I LOVE LOVE LOVE having the 4 seasons you talk about! Follow your dreams. Circumstances are always changing and so can you.

  10. Keep reaching for your aspirations. Can’t wait to hear about these dreams you’re mulling over in your head.

  11. Come East and enjoy the beach or NYC. I have a lovely guest room that can be all yours–it even has a sewing machine in it! I will “gladly” be your “family!” I moved from NJ to TX when I was in my 30’s to go back to college and I loved every minute of it!! I’ll leave the key under the mat!

  12. The garden’s a good reminder of the moment. Enjoy it.

  13. Beautiful garden! My attempt at growing pumpkins kinda keeled over when I found out I had an interview in Flag and therefore might be leaving them soon. lol. Yep, definitely understand the fish out of cultural waters thing I lived in Flag just a year ago and felt I fit in a bit better there. Probably one of my favorite things about your blog is that you share many of the same things I love, but seem less common here. 🙂 Best of luck with the job and any decisions about moving.

  14. Best of luck to you, Kelli, as you consider your options. It sounds as if you have a good head on your shoulders and I’m sure whatever decision you make will be the right one for you!!

  15. Wow, scary and exciting, as someone else said. I’m sure you have many options. I don’t feel as though I really do, at this time, but Phoenix is the place I came to to get out of the midwest and I have never regretted it. Despite its many drawbacks–weather, traffic, right-wingers–I still love it. But I can certainly understand wanting to go elsewhere and if I were as young as you with the resume you have, I would be thinking about exploring other options, too.

    Good luck to you as you dwell on all the possibilities.

  16. We just moved back to the desert in CA. It wasn’t what I wanted and we are looking for a more permanent change too. I want cooler temps, trees, and four full seasons.

  17. So first off, i seriously think we should do lunch and mull over Phoenix together. I am currently back in idaho for the week and back in love with it, but I have a few more years in AZ, which is okay, too!
    Good luck with your decisions. (I’ll say a prayer!)

  18. Follow your heart Kelli, it’s the only way of living that’s worth the effort. Whishing you well, anything you might decide.
    P.S. How about a little italian vacation?

  19. Yay, pumpkins!! I hope mine will look that nice soon! I can so relate to everything you wrote here.

  20. Boulder? 🙂

  21. Karel aka SWS aka Moms August 24, 2009

    Your garden is looking quite fetching! I am really, really proud of you, Kelli. And Matt. I know he’s in charge of watering, and that garden looks really nice.
    You must have gotten your fraternal great-grandfather’s knack with dirt/seeds.
    He could grow popsickle sticks. Really.
    Your great-granddad is smiling down on you from heaven, Kelli.
    Love,
    Moms

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